我不喜歡罵人，因為我動手能力比較強。

I don‘t like swearing because I’m good atpractice。

看了半個多小時的英語，我發現，這些單詞好像都不喜歡我。

After reading English for more than half an hour， I found that none of these words seemed to like me。

年輕的時候還是儘量不要早戀，過早知道自己缺乏魅力，又醜又矮，影響學習。

When you are young， you should try not to fall in love early， knowing that you are short and ugly， which affects your study。

最煩別人跟我說，西遊記都看過無數遍了，可以倒背如流了，你這麼厲害，那你告訴我，唐僧唸的緊箍咒內容是啥？

I hate to be told that he has watched the journey tothe West countless times and known it thoroughly。 If you are so powerful， please tell me what is the spell of Tang Monk。

有人知道怎麼追處女座的嗎？知道的話追我一下，謝謝！

Do you know how to pursue Virgo？ If so， please pursue me。 Thank you！

每個月總有那麼幾張毛爺爺，他的臉色由紅變綠，由綠變黃，接著變藍，再變紫，再變青，最後離我而去。

Every month there are always a few bills。 His face changes from red to green， from green to yellow， then blue， purple， cyan， finally left me。

大學裡每天都發生這樣的鬼故事，一個人指著一個空位問旁邊的同學：“同學，請問這有人嗎？”

Every day in the University， there is such a ghost story。 A man points to a vacancy and asks a classmate next to it：“Hello， is there anyone here？”

遇到不講理的人，但凡能用白眼迴應的，就不要給他說話的機會。

Don‘t give unreasonable people a chance to talk if you can respond by rolling your eyes at him。

太陽真是個大笑臉，一出現，世界就亮了。

The sun is such a big smile。 As soon as it appears， the world will be bright。

圖源來自網路，侵權立刪，謝謝！